Welcome family and friends to my very first blog. To abandon means to surrender or yield oneself and I have recklessly abandoned my life to heed the call that God has put on my heart to move to Romania and work with orphan children. I am full of unbounded enthusiasm and exuberance as I begin this journey to Romania and am excited to share my adventure with you!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Spring 2009 Update


At long last…finally an update! So much has happened in the past three months…we celebrated Martisor (a Romanian holiday welcoming Spring), Women’s Day (similar to our Mother’s Day…only here you don’t have to be a mom, just a woman!), Easter, and the Romanian Labor Day (on May 1). Spring is a great time of year in Romania for holidays! We had a great time celebrating these special days, but there is much more to share with you…so here are some highlights and updates for you:

Orphanage

It’s been a beautiful spring so we’ve been able to get the kids outside every day. Initially, we stayed on the grounds in the play area of the orphanage, but now we’ve been taking them to the big playground in the park. Ildiko and I have also been taking them on excursions…to the large supermarket, to a bakery, to Ildiko’s house, and for walks around town for example. The kids have really enjoyed it and it gives them a chance to be exposed to new situations. Mario, for example, is extremely scared every time we go into any new place and insists upon being held. I was so excited when I was able to get him to ride in the grocery cart…which was a huge accomplishment, considering he threw a fit and cried at the very thought of going inside the store. He actually enjoyed himself once he calmed down and had a terrific time. It’s been great fun getting them exposed to life outside the orphanage.
We’ve seen some progress in the children developmentally, for example, Georgel (the little blind boy who used to hit himself incessantly) is actually walking on his own! It is a diffident walk to be sure, but each day he is a little bolder in his attempts. I can’t begin to tell you how excited we were to see him walk by himself for the first time. He used to immediately drop to the ground if he lost contact with us and now he is getting up and cautiously stepping out without any help whatsoever! Other of the older children are also responding to our presence and interacting more with us. Where they used to sit alone and rock, they are now coming to us and interacting with us…smiles, touches, games, etc. are all common from them now. Ildiko and I have introduced many of them to Play-dough, coloring books, new toys, etc. for the first time and it is exciting to witness. We’ve also seen some positive changes in the workers. Although on any given day you will still see workers sitting off to the side by themselves while the children are alone to “entertain” themselves, you will occasionally see some of them playing with the children. One little boy in particular sits in his wheelchair, unable to move because of his disabilities, the entire time the children are outside. After noticing this the first day we were outside with the older children, I decided to try something new. I pushed his wheelchair around the yard for him and then lifted him out and put him on the swing. To my delight, he LOVED it…his smile was as big as his face. The next day we found one of the workers pushing him on the swing and it made our hearts burst with joy that she had taken the initiative to put him on the swing on her own. With these children, it only takes one small change to impact their world dramatically. For example, one of the older boys who is verbal, but very aggressive and must be restrained began asking me for a radio. He repeated his request for numerous days and then added that he also wanted sunglasses when he saw mine. The workers just humored him, but after several days I began to think this was an important request for him. Ildiko and I took a couple of the younger children on a walk the next day and found a store that is similar to our dollar stores. I was so excited to find sunglasses and a little radio for about $3, but not nearly excited as the young man. He was thrilled when I gave him the gifts and when he put his head on my shoulder with a contented smile on his face I cried. He then got up and danced the most hilarious dance for us and did he ever look cool in his shades! The entire staff was rolling in laughter and we all couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day. They are baby steps to be sure, but we do see positive changes and continue to pray for God to use us to be a blessing and to minister to the needs of the children and the staff.

One new development that I have heard about recently is that the Department of Child Protection is not able to hire any more foster parents (it sounds like some sort of hiring freeze) and those who decide to leave the program are not being replaced. This could mean that the orphanage will begin to see more children again. Please pray that whatever is motivating this change will be reversed. I have seen first hand what happens to children who are raised in an orphanage and it is devastating. Just this week I have seen evidence of this change when I visited the hospital and found 10 new abandoned babies, the oldest of which is 7 months old, living in cribs and receiving only basic care. The research on the affects of children who do not bond normally with a parent within the first few months of age says that the damage can be irreparable. Please pray for these children, they need a miracle!

Open Doors – the after-school program for underprivileged gypsy kids
We found ourselves in need of hiring again in March, and a daunting task lay ahead for us. Oana and I worked together to plan the activities, prepare the homework, and run the program…while interviewing and trying out candidates. I interviewed 30 candidates amongst our regular routine the first week alone! I didn’t realize how bad the economy was here in our town until we began the search for this candidate. The last time we hired, I interviewed about 10 people and only 2 of them spoke English well enough to be considered seriously for the position. This time we had nearly 50 interviews and all of them spoke excellent English. It made our selection process a little more difficult, but I’d much rather have that problem! In the end we selected a young woman named Raluca and she is amazing! She genuinely cares for the kids, is very bright, hard working, and full of energy and fun ideas. The children have responded extremely well to her and she is doing a great job. We are once again fully staffed and it is such a pleasure to work with these ladies.

In amongst the daily grind of homework and baths and breaking up fights and constant lecturing, we have had some true adventures and wonderfully surprising moments. It is like a roller coaster to be sure…for every exciting breakthrough there has been a near disaster. For example, we took the kids to the zoo in a nearby town last month. We had a marvelous, albeit exhausting, time and we’re still talking about the monkey that swiped Daniela’s telephone right out of her hand and tried to eat it! The zoo worker rescued it for us, but the phone still bears the marks of the monkey’s teeth! None of the children had ever been to the zoo before and it was such a joy to watch them thrill to the sights of the animals up close and personal…and an extra treat was that almost every animal there had babies! The fabulously fun and exciting day ended in near disaster when we got a call from the police station to come and get half of the kids who didn’t make it home in the taxi we put them in. Apparently, the driver decided he didn’t want to take a bunch of gypsy kids in his taxi and kicked them out after we had already left in different taxis. Half of the kids made it home and the other half wandered around the grounds of the train station looking for another taxi until the police came and took them to the police station. I know that gypsies are discriminated against, but to see it so up close and personal was overwhelming to me. Our 14 year old who was with this half of the kids was even finger-printed and treated like a criminal all because he was a gypsy. After we got to the police station they told us that children were not allowed to travel unaccompanied by an adult in a taxi and that’s why they were taken to the station. Now, I know that’s not true because I talked to a dozen adults afterward who told us they do it all the time with their own children. I also spoke to one of the police officers who spoke English and when I mentioned that I felt the children might have been discriminated against, he assured me they had not….but he said “these people are a lower level of people” and “they shouldn’t be trusted”. I’m sure my mouth was open in shock while he was saying these things. Understandably, the parents were upset when we brought their kids home and they took their anger out on poor Oana. Unable to understand a single thing they were screaming, I called Pastor Brian and asked him to pray…I told him we needed God to send us an angel because Oana was standing in the midst of 50 angry onlookers while one of the fathers (who was drunk) was yelling and waving his arms like a mad-man in Oana’s face and had seconds earlier attempted to strangle her boyfriend who had accompanied her. Just as I closed my phone…a car pulled up and the father of one of the other children stepped out. He is one of the most respected men in their group and he walked over to Oana and put his arm around her shoulder and two seconds later the crowd began to calm down and dissipate. It was over as quickly as it had begun and no one was hurt. God had sent us an angel!

We learned a lot that day about why the children react with such anger all the time…it is a way of life in their homes. Even the other day when we walked the kids home and talked to the parents, I noticed how one of the mothers interacted with her children as we were leaving. She screamed at them and hit them and had such anger on her face as she spoke that it just broke my heart to know that this behavior is “normal” to them. The children are desperate for attention and it seems the only way they know to get it is to misbehave. We’ve been working hard to praise them for the good behavior and take special efforts to watch for them doing good things so we can give them positive attention. It is amazing how a soft, kind word just melts the anger at times. Other times, it seems nothing we do is helping. Please pray for the kids and for us to have wisdom in our daily interactions with them. We do have those wonderful moments for which it makes it all worthwhile. The other day I joined two of the older girls on the cushion and we just started talking and telling stories (yes, I can actually carry-on a decent conversation in Romanian now) and we were having so much fun that before we knew it all the other children had joined us and we just had a wonderful, quiet, intimate time together. Sadly, one of the kids hit another kid and it ended in a big fight…but boy, it was wonderful for the 20 minutes that it lasted! Ha!

I’ve also learned that just as these children are suffering in their own homes, so are our two workers. Oana is in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend and Raluca and her husband have spoken of divorce due to the difficulties in their relationship. Both women are suffering immensely, but Ildiko and I have been praying with them and we’ve had a bit of a break through. Pastor Brian came one day and counseled with the girls, sharing Biblical truths with them about relationships…both with the men in their lives and with the Lord. It was a step in the right direction for them and since then, they have been reading the Bible and praying and Raluca’s relationship with her husband is getting better. Ildiko and I also planned an evening for the girls and they actually were able to come…which is a miracle. Every other time we’ve invited them to something they have wanted to come, but the men in their lives have prevented them from coming. So, last night we had a girl’s night out at Ildiko’s house and we watched the movie “Fireproof” with Kirk Cameron and they both had a wonderful time. They said they felt such peace and kept commenting on how they had never had such a wonderful time. We prayed with them before they left and I know that God is doing a work in their hearts.
It hasn’t been easy working with such hurting people and there have been days when I genuinely didn’t want to go to the center. The children have such anger issues due to their family situations, that sometimes it is almost overwhelming. The work is seriously arduous and I actually love that it is, because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could not do this job without God’s help. This constant reliance on God for even the simplest of activities fills my heart with worship for his greatness. It is a continuing reminder of how hopeless my life is without him. Please keep the children and our workers in your prayers!


A snapshot of life in Romania





Wow…Romanians really know how to picnic! I was invited to a picnic recently and expected the usual sandwiches, chips, fruit, sodas, a blanket to sit on…you know, the typical simple picnic. What I was treated to instead was an outdoor banquet! First, we drove for almost an hour outside of town to a beautiful spot near a river with wonderful views. Then we crossed a log bridge to encounter wooden tables covered with linen tablecloths and mounds of food. The grill was an ingenious contraption allowing for grilling of meats and French fries all at the same time. In addition to the fresh fruits and tasty pastries, there was chicken and pork and steak and of course, the French fries. It was a marvelous feast!

We had a surprising visitor the other night…a hedgehog! It wandered down from the forest that is behind our house and I happened to see his shadow as I was talking to someone outside our kitchen window. We captured the poor little fellow just for one night so we could show the kids in the morning…he sure was cute, very prickly and kept trying to curl up in a little ball when he was being photographed, but boy did he smell bad! We let him go the next day and he ran for the hills faster than you can imagine! I imagine his adventure sleeping in a laundry basket will be something he shares with his family for weeks to come – ha!

One of my favorite things to do is read to kids…and oh how I wish I could read Romanian well enough to do it with our kids at the center. Sadly, it will be a while before I can do that…but I am practicing! In the meantime, I have had the pleasure of reading to the 5 kids in our home daily during the past few weeks. My mom sent me some used Pippi Longstocking books recently and the kids are hooked! They have been begging me daily to read to them…and I am only too happy to oblige!


Clowning Around











We had the 3rd Annual Special Olympics this month and Winky had a blast cheering on the kids and clowning around in general. The biggest highlight at this year’s event was the participation of the kids from our orphanage. Several of the older children from the orphanage who attend a local school for special needs kids were even invited on stage for a special performance (a song and poem) and they did a great job. One of the girls even became an assistant to the emcee and had the most marvelous time! When she realized that the clown was actually someone she knew, she just lit up and told her teacher that she knew me and that I came to visit her every week. In addition to seeing the older kids, I also saw many other workers from the orphanage there working as volunteers. Most of them had never seen me in costume before, so you can imagine their reactions when I spoke to them. Hilarious fun! I think my favorite moment came when I saw three of our small children from the orphanage at the event accompanied by staff members. The kids were enjoying themselves immensely and I wanted to greet them. Knowing how scared Mario is of everything, I was leery of speaking to him. I was sure that he would freak out and scream when he saw this clown approaching him. To my utter amazement, I spoke to him and he dropped the hand of the staff member, ran to me and jumped in my arms. He was as comfortable with me in make-up and costume as he was on any regular day. He wasn’t fazed in the least…and then I realized…it’s because he recognized my voice. It reminded me of John 10:27 when Jesus said his sheep recognize his voice and follow him. I looked completely different than normal, but Mario was not afraid…sometimes God doesn’t “look” the way we expect, but if we recognize his voice, we will know it is him and not be afraid. Marius had a little different reaction, he leaned back and looked quizzically at me, crinkling up his nose a bit…like he was thinking, “you sound like Natalie, but you sure look different”. It took him a little longer, but he came to the same conclusion as Mario…it’s Natalie! He too came for a hug and once he was comfortable that this strange looking face was really Natalie, he couldn’t take his eyes off me and his smile was priceless. It was such a joy to me that these kids knew me and were not afraid. May we all be like these children and recognize God’s voice and follow him.


New Beginnings














My two new little “sisters” (from the New Beginnings Family Center) are doing great. Lavinia and Cosmina are a lot of fun to have around. We spend a lot of time together in the evenings working on homework, putting puzzles together, playing games, etc. We also have some quiet time each night where we talk about our day and pray together. We’ve also been working on memorizing Bible verses (in Romanian, of course). This has been great for my language development and the girls really enjoy it. Sadly for them, it will often take us days to learn one verse because of all the new words I’m trying to master. By the time we’ve learned it, we know it pretty well though.

Although the new addition to our “family” has been enjoyable, we’ve also had an adjustment time. Cynthia bears the brunt of most of it with extra kids under foot vying for her attention. We pray that God continues to give her grace as all 6 youngsters in the house almost always need something. Bed time is such a welcome relief! We all help out, but she and Brian end up having to play the “heavy” when it comes to discipline. The other day Lavinia and Cosmina were teasing each other and it got out of hand…Lavinia made Cosmina so mad she cussed her out. Having been warned repeatedly about speaking improperly with each other (a problem they had from day one), Cynthia used a tried and true method that has worked with her other children…soap! They each had to hold soap on their tongue for 1-2 minutes before being allowed to rinse. It was not a pleasant experience for either of them…and then afterward, they spent the rest of the day in their room without toys or games. They had the option of reading or sleeping to pass the time. It was a harsh lesson, but there have been no more incidents since then.


Cosmina is in music school and is doing well with her guitar. We recently attended a recital where we enjoyed the performance of her latest work. She plays a classical style and I enjoy listening to her play…she recently played three songs that she wrote herself, each one completely different sounding than the previous one. In my opinion, it is quite impressive for one so young (she’s only 9).

Lavinia is the oldest child in the house (13 years old) and thoroughly enjoys mothering the others. Riley (our youngest at 2 ½ months) coos and “talks” non-stop to Lavinia when she is near. She truly has a nurturing gift and her dream is to one day become a kindergarten teacher. Unfortunately, her grades need improving…especially in math. We have hired a tutor for her, but she will have to work all summer in order to catch up to the rest of her class.
Although it’s a lot of work, it’s also extremely rewarding to be a part of these girls’ lives!


Prayer Requests:

• Visi and Marius (two of the boys from our programs) are having lots of problems at home and really need prayer.
• Raluca and Oana – wisdom in working with the children and help with their relationships
• One of the boxes I shipped to myself is still missing. Please pray that it will arrive soon!
• Continuing to learn the Romanian language
• Wisdom in working with the older children and new workers in the orphanage

With much love,
Natalie Bridges
natalie926@hotmail.com


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1 Comments:

Blogger Laura said...

Natalie, Hi!
Bryan Vanshur sent me your blog and I'm so glad he did! I have spent the last two days reading every entry. I had no idea that you had taken on this adventure, but it makes so much sense. You are my newest hero! I love hearing about your work with the kids, and will keep watching for your next update.

Laura Shaffer

8:44 PM

 

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